


To Have and To Hold

by FarFromSummer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Creepy Kylo Ren, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Even Snoke Is Disturbed, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Mind Control, Rape/Non-con Elements, Snoke Cares?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 21:45:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8418019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarFromSummer/pseuds/FarFromSummer
Summary: Theirs was a relationship of dark nights and stolen moments. In this depraved act of metamorphosis, the whispers of its existence echoed through the night, only renewing itself as hatred and disdain come morning.
  
After using his powers on Hux during an altercation, Kylo attempts to remove the memory from his mind so that a disapproving Snoke does not find out. After being too rough in the process, Kylo finds that he has made the General more pliant and understanding. He yearns for the comfort he finds in Hux in those peaceful moments at night, but Hux is steadily deteriorating as a result.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on the comic [Monsters](http://reiburger.tumblr.com/post/147215772885/tune-in-next-time-for-more-mind-control-%CA%98%CA%98) by [@reiburger](http://reiburger.tumblr.com/)

The first time had been after one of their many arguments. Hux had entered Kylo’s quarters and began his verbal assault as soon as he crossed the threshold into his room. Kylo had failed another mission, evidently one too many, and so close to the completion of the superweapon’s construction. Hux was livid. His usually cold exterior was not just cracked, but completely shattered. Years of snide, almost genteel remarks yielded to unbridled rage. His eyes flashed brightly, his mouth was twisted into a cruel sneer and spittle flew, along with words that cut Kylo to his core.

 “You’re useless, Ren. With your constant incompetence, Leader Snoke must regret letting you slaughter every other potential apprentice.”

 Kylo had been relatively silent up to this point. His usual anger had subsided once he witnessed the General’s loss of propriety and he was left mute in the face of his failures. While Snoke’s rebukes earlier had made him uneasy, Hux’s harsh words had managed to poke at insecurities he thought he had finally rid himself of long ago. Memories of his younger years flooded back to him: Luke’s eager encouragement of the younger padawans and his wariness of Kylo’s own growing strength. His relief at being taken under Snoke’s wing, at last being able to foster his abilities under the undivided attention of a new master. The burning mix of rage, jealousy and hurt at Snoke’s recruitment of the other Knights. The same rage that had led him to kill one upon meeting him. Snoke’s awed approval at this, leading to him being named as the leader of the Knights.

 Kylo drew his saber at once. The red glow of the blade illuminated both his and Hux’s features, giving an otherworldly glint to the anger in their eyes. Kylo reached out and held Hux frozen in place. Silence rang in their ears and both stood completely motionless, but not for lack of trying on Hux’s part.

 “Unhand me at once.” he spluttered “I’m warning you, Ren, even if Leader Snoke could overlook your disastrous performance on that mission, he won’t take this offence lightly.”

 Hux was right. The Supreme Leader had been adamant that his Force abilities not be used on the General. On the bridge and among his men, the General was the picture of a purposeful, collected First Order officer, in their audiences with Snoke, however, Hux freely displayed his viciousness. From the litany of criticisms of his work, to the never ending insults he threw Kylo’s way, it was clear that Hux would stop at nothing to lower his status in the eyes of his master.

 Panicking at the prospect of exposing his direct disobedience of his master’s orders, Kylo reached within his co-commander’s mind to remove the memory of their altercation. Hux yelped. No doubt the forceful entry into his mind was physically painful, Kylo was familiar with the way in which it reduced prisoners sent to the interrogation rooms, and even then he was usually much more focused on the task at hand. Kylo pulled away from Hux’s mind much more gently after that. The smaller man stood calmly with a blank expression on his face. The usual coldness in his eyes had vanished completely and Kylo could only see his own reflection mirrored in their emptiness. Neither man moved. The suffocating intensity of Hux’s anger had dissipated, leaving only the buzz of static behind. Kylo made the first move to step back as the silence became uncomfortable.

 “Go back to your own quarters. Do not speak of tonight to anyone.” he spoke hesitantly, the last command no doubt being unnecessary, given the intensity with which the memory had been removed.

Hux’s movement was instant, yet he walked not with his usual self-assured gait, but with a near-mechanical stiffness. In the past, the man's similarity to a droid had been a cause of derision on Kylo’s part. However, this stiff, unnatural movement disturbed him in that it was devoid of anything human. The Force was, in its purest form- regardless of Light or Dark, his connection to all living things; to sense so little of the General in himself, particularly when his anger and disappointment and _hatred_ had been so viscerally projected before, set Kylo on edge.

 Warily, Kylo called out to him.

 “Stop.”

 Hux froze. Kylo hesitated.

 “Come here.” he whispered apprehensively.

Hux stood where he was for a few seconds, but surely made his way over in the same, even manner as before. He stood in front of Kylo and looked straight ahead as if looking through him. Kylo closed the distance between them and appraised warily. Nervously, he reached out to touch Hux’s arm. Circling the redhead’s wrist with his large hand, Kylo expected Hux to snap out of this curious state he was in and lash out at him. However, he detected no change in the surrounding static through the Force. Kylo moved his hand to the smaller man’s waist and took in his softened, pliant state while brushing his hands up his torso. He cupped the redhead’s cheek with one palm, bring the fingers of his other hand to brush over his lips. Hux merely stood with his arms dropped by his sides, allowing Kylo’s touch with a soft, vacant expression.

* * *

 

Hux awoke once more to the sun on Starkiller Base filtering through the viewport and ripping him from sleep. Cursing the inconveniences of residing planetside for the duration of the base’s construction, he dragged himself from his bed to shut the blinds and steal a few more moments of sleep. Glancing at the chrono, however, he noticed that he had in fact overslept and was due on the bridge in ten minutes. Perturbed by the fact that he now had to forego his routine check of the overnight logs, he made his way to the refresher and chalked up his weariness to the increasing stresses that came with overseeing the completion of the superweapon.

Hours later, Hux found his exhaustion catching up with him by the end of his last shift. The seemingly endless torrent of reports, meetings and finalisations flurried through his mind, the only reprieve from this being the absence of the base’s resident Force user and his usual antics. Hux had been seeing less and less of Ren who had even, miraculously, avoided an outburst in the past few weeks after his failed mission.  

However, they still argued similarly to before, constantly disagreeing on the allocation of resources and how Ren’s missions appeared to be of less importance now that Starkiller was the Order’s top priority. Strangely enough, Ren appeared to be content with foregoing his usual temper tantrums, preferring to stew in his anger within his own quarters, rather than taking it out on the brand new consoles on the base. Hux may have been tempted to investigate this change, or even test the limits of Ren’s newfound patience, were it not for the extra duties that now occupied him while planetside.

Hux was about to return to his quarters to read the rest of the day’s reports in the comfort of his own couch when he heard a knock on the office door. He called for the visitor to enter, still packing datapads away to indicate that he would be leaving shortly and they had best report their matters quickly.

“Sir.” came Lieutenant Rodinon’s greeting.

“At ease, Lieutenant. State your concerns”

“Sir, I was reading through the reports of the base’s evacuation measures and there appears to be a few errors. The evacuation procedures for the escape pods in particular have not been updated from the old measures and I thought it best to discuss this with you before the meeting with Colonel Datoo in two days.”

Hux frowned, he had written the reports himself merely days before. To overlook something as integral as updated safety measures would bring only lower him in the eyes of his crew.

“The meeting, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, Sir. You requested that Colonel Datoo and I meet with you to discuss Starkiller’s progress.” he answered, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, Lieutenant. Rest assured, I will make the necessary changes. You are dismissed.”

Puzzled by the day’s events and irked that there would now be conversation amongst his men of his lapse in memory, Hux returned to his quarters, attributing this to his exhaustion and determined to remedy it with sleep.

 

* * *

 

Kylo barely hesitated at the doors to Hux’s quarters. Overriding the security mechanisms with ease, he made his way into the General’s sleeping quarters and immediately opened the blinds to the large viewport beside the bed. The breathtaking vista of white, expansive plains and snow capped trees was second only to the sleeping form lying serenely on the bed. Hux lay with his mouth parted slightly and golden lashes brushing his cheeks. His pale chest bathed in moonlight as it rose and fell softly, the shadows from the light snowfall outside swirling patterns across his torso.  

 Kylo carefully took a seat beside the sleeping redhead and reached within his mind to peel back the layers of General, competitor and adversary, until all that was left was simply Hux, a man that existed for and in Kylo’s eyes only.  

Hux spasmed before opening his eyes in a fluid motion, staring ahead at the ceiling above him. Letting out the breath he didn’t now he was holding, Kylo shifted onto the bed and called Hux to him.

“Sit in my lap.”

Shifting the smaller man until he was faced towards him, Kylo brought Hux’s head to the crook of his shoulder, pressing his mouth to his soft hair.

“You were awful today, Hux.” he murmured into the copper locks “Defying me in front of the ‘troopers. I almost brought out my saber right then and there.” he chuckled lightly, tracing patterns across the other man’s back.

Kylo drew the redhead away from him and looked into his pale eyes.

“Apologize.”

“I’m sorry” came the automatic reply. Kylo sighed.

“Say my name when you apologize. Do it properly now.”

“I’m sorry, Kylo”

“That’s better. I understand you’re under a lot of pressure and I’m sure what happened today was just a result of your exhaustion. I forgive you, Hux” With that he grasped the sides of the smaller man’s head and pressed their lips together.

“Kiss me,” he whispered feverently. And with that Hux’s lips moved with his own and Kylo could almost forget the mechanical stiltedness of their movements.

Theirs was a relationship of dark nights and stolen moments. In this depraved act of metamorphosis, the whispers of its existence echoed through the night, only renewing itself as hatred and disdain come morning. With the sun threatening to peek over the horizon, Kylo sighed as he took one last look at the man lying on the bed before returning to another day with the cruel General.

 

* * *

 

The cool air of the audience chamber hung heavy around Kylo with the weight of Snoke’s disapproval. The apparition before him merely looked on for a few moments, unsure of how to begin.

“I am aware of your…involvement…with our general.” he began uneasily “This distraction of yours is stalling our progress with finding Skywalker. Furthermore, I cannot have the General compromised at such a critical time for Starkiller. Your carelessness is causing him to underperform and we are now being rushed to complete the project.”

“Master, I-”

“Enough!” he spat “The General will remain your co-commander for the duration of the weapon’s construction, he will be transferred elsewhere once it is completed. You, my apprentice, will cease this behaviour at once, or I may be forced to find another method to dispose of him.”

The hologram disappeared, leaving Kylo alone to process the inevitability of losing Hux. The man’s tenderness and pliancy had kept him centred in these trying weeks, his devotion given as a gift to help unmake the parts of him tainted by isolation. Kylo was overwhelmed with the thought of losing this, especially when he had already lost so much. His grandfather’s legacy, his master’s approval, even Skywalker himself, at one stage they had all been within his grasp. But as always, the galaxy had seen it fit to deprive him. Kylo felt the sting of tears forming as he made his way to the General’s quarters for what would undoubtedly be the last time.

Approaching the entrance to Hux’s quarters, Kylo felt himself falling into the familiar process of bypassing the access codes and making his way to the bedroom, muscle memory making up for the lack of clarity in his whirring mind. As he stalked over to the bed, he was surprised to see Hux sitting up and facing the large viewport. With a sigh, he turned his head to look at Kylo, gazing at him with an unreadable expression.

“Hux-”

“Snoke told me everything,” the man interrupted coolly, shifting his head back to the view outside. The snowfall outside was heavier, larger flakes cascading downwards and suffocating the ground in a thick blanket.

“I never expected you to be so underhanded, Ren. Slowly destroying my mind in my sleep so I wouldn’t even be able to function when I’m awake,” he shook his head, as if in awe.

“I didn’t do it undermine you,” was all Kylo could reply.

Hux laughed mirthlessly and turned his head to face Kylo once more.

“Why then?” he demanded “Go on, Ren, I deserve an explanation at the very least.”

He couldn’t. He wasn’t prepared to dredge up what happened between them and just lay it bare for Hux to see. The shifting, blackened mass of what he had done was not something that could simply bring forward at any other time. Instead, he coaxed the memories of those nights into Hux’s mind, whispering them directly into his consciousness to minimise its contact with their other lives.

By the time he had finished, Hux was shaking. His face was reddened as various emotions crossed his face, the fury and hurt each fighting for dominance in their demands to be seen. Unclenching his fists, he leaned over to the bedside drawer and brought out a blaster. Pointing it at Kylo’s chest, he cocked his head to the side and regarded him. Before he even got the chance to pull the trigger, Kylo sent the blaster flying out of his hand. Seeing the panic in Hux’s eyes, he froze the smaller man in place and reached into his mind. Once more he made his way through Hux’s psyche, unmaking it in the process. By the time he was done, both men were panting, a light sheen of sweat coating their foreheads. Kylo drew away from Hux’s mind, knowing already that this time the change would stick. Holding the redhead in his arms he looked to the sun peering through the windows and noted for the first time the brilliance of Hux’s copper hair as the sun set the golden strands alight.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was my take on some darker Kylux. Hope you enjoyed it, kudos and comments/feedback are much appreciated if you did!
> 
> My tumblr is [@farfromsummer](http://farfromsummer.tumblr.com/)


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